Wednesday, 14 March 2018


I spent two weeks off work sick after which decided I was well enough to return. I left the place I had been staying with a three and a half hours journey back to my hometown.
I enjoyed the journey as I always do, not as much as the outward one, because that is always one of promise, the unknown, and adventure - but I enjoyed it anyway. There's something beautiful about just traveling along watching the world pass by and the ever-changing horizon. Like life really, one big journey meant to be enjoyed in the moment, which is all we really own.
I visited my Mother and started to prepare myself to return to work the following day.

Well life sometimes likes to throws you a curve ball - and here it comes.
While sitting at the dinner table I felt something strange happening, I wasn't sure what, but I knew I had to lie down on the floor (which I don't remember doing) My next memory is of me sitting on the floor leaning against the wall, looking at a small damp patch on the lino in front of me. I reached out to touch it and it was warm to my fingers. OK - that's where my head has been. While I was out cold. I wondered how long I had been unconscious as Mother appeared at the door from her walking the dog and knew something was wrong, she said I looked pale and confused. Damn right I was.
Well, we both put this down to the fact that I hadn't eaten all day as I never get hungry, and I guess as I had been alone had no idea (we later learned that the reason I don't get hungry is that some of my medication eradicates my appetite, to the point that I never feel hungry at all. Sounds great doesn't it? well not really, it means I can easily miss multiple meals and have no idea) So I ate an apple, an orange, soup and bread - which made me feel much more alert. Solved.

Well, one torpedo wasn't enough for this curving ball, as a couple of hours later, the same feeling visited me, and again I was out cold on the floor. Witness's say I was delirious for some time - although I do remember wanting to wake up from a terrible nightmare where a number of people were staring at me, talking to myself about wanting to wake up (but I already was..)
Lucidity did not begin to return until I was in the ambulance, and I felt like I had got my own head back - even though I wasn't sure why I was in the ambulance.
So, after a few hours in the hospital, a few tests and a long wait on a bed in a corridor full of other patients on beds too, I got to see a Doctor. During my wait in the corridor I myself had become a fully qualified Doctor, and when a meticulously presented man wearing a stethoscope came to find me, I fully expected him to tell me I was Diabetic. A good explanation I thought.
Well, he is the Doctor, and I am a middle aged man who lives in a motorhome. It was the epilepsy, come back to haunt me after ten whole years of being suppressed by Sodium Valporate. "Your going to tell me I cannot drive" I said to the Doctor. "I am doing - is that a problem?"

I left the A&E department with a strange mix of emotions, partly devastation, and partly thinking of the staff. I thought how lucky we are to be able to simply dial a number after which, a mini hospital on wheels arrives at your door, all down to the amazing people who staff the NHS. Am I as good as them in my job?

It seems that there is something called 'seizure threshold' regarding epilepsy and other neurological conditions. Normally, the medication works fine. But, some things, if they're bad enough, can trigger seizures again. Luckily it didn't happen on the road. Luckily I was with someone.

So for now it seems my 'gypsy' life is over, and I have more questions than answers.

I'm wondering what you call a traveler that doesn't travel. Oh, and I'll set an alarm to remind me to eat.